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Re: [Asrg] draft-irtf-asrg-bcp-blacklists draft updated.



Chris Lewis wrote:
> I've just uploaded and authenticated/verified:
> 
> http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-irtf-asrg-bcp-blacklists-03.txt

In addition to the NITs I listed in another message, I suggest making 
the following changes for grammatical cleanliness.

	Tony Hansen
	tony at att.com

130,131c130,131
<    different ways, far beyond the designers' of DNS or DNS-based
<    blocking IP lists imaginings.  For example, today, the same basic
---
 >    different ways, far beyond the imaginings of the designers of DNS 
or DNS-based
 >    blocking IP lists.  For example, today, the same basic
134c134
<    DNSWL  listings of well-behaving email source IP addresses
---
 >    DNSWL  listings of well-behaving email source IP/domain addresses
150,152c150,152
<    informational purposes.  For example, implementations that return
<    results based on what geographic region an IP is putatively allocated
<    in, implementations that translate an IP address into a ASN number
---
 >    informational purposes.  For example, there are implementations 
that return
 >    results based on what geographic region an IP/domain is putatively 
allocated
 >    in, implementations that translate an IP/domain address into a ASN 
number
175c175
<    some DNSBLs in some areas, these areas will be mentioned as
---
 >    some DNSBLs in some areas, which will be mentioned as
191c191
<    sources situated at static (unchanging) IP addresses.  Due to the
---
 >    sources situated at static (unchanging) IP/domain addresses.  Due 
to the
207c207
<    what they are.  It is the responsibility of the DNSBL user to ensure
---
 >    what the criteria are.  It is the responsibility of the DNSBL user 
to ensure
229c229
<    queries.  See [DNSBL-EMAIL].
---
 >    queries.  (See [DNSBL-EMAIL].)
255c255
<         such evaluations depend on mail mix used as well as local
---
 >         such evaluations depend on the mail mix used as well as local
312c312
<    document are to be interpreted as described in RFC 2119 [RFC2119].
---
 >    document are to be interpreted as described in [RFC2119].
325c325
<       (ASRG) of the IRTF.  As per section 3 of RFC 2014 [RFC2014]IRTF
---
 >       (ASRG) of the IRTF.  As per section 3 of [RFC2014] IRTF
352c352
<    A DNSBL SHOULD carefully describe the criteria which are the cause
---
 >    A DNSBL SHOULD carefully describe the criteria that are the cause
369c369
<    relays only MUST NOT include IP addresses for any other reason.  This
---
 >    relays MUST NOT include IP addresses for any other reason.  This
384c384
<    available (or shutdown).  See Section 3.1.
---
 >    available (or shut down).  See Section 3.1.
413c413
<    making audit trail data public does not entail revealing all
---
 >    making an audit trail data public does not entail revealing all
428c428
<    Examples: Some DNSBLs will IP ranges if there is reason to believe
---
 >    Examples: Some DNSBLs will list IP ranges if there is reason to 
believe
441c441
<    perfect, and that occasional mistake is inevitable no matter what is
---
 >    perfect, and that an occasional mistake is inevitable no matter 
what is
455c455
<    diligent administrator needs information about the these policies in
---
 >    diligent administrator needs information about these policies in
487c487
<        need not ever get removed, just kept reasonably current.
---
 >        need not ever be removed, just kept reasonably current.
491c491
<        long expiration intervals or only be removed on request after
---
 >        long expiration intervals or only be removed upon request after
515c515
<    what the expiration policy is, even if its only "delist on request"
---
 >    their expiration policy is, even if it's only "delist on request"
547c547
<    methods with low false positive rate as practical SHOULD be chosen.
---
 >    methods with as low of a false positive rate as practical SHOULD 
be chosen.
555c555
<    representative or domain owner) may make valid removal requests,
---
 >    representative or domain owner) may make valid removal requests.
564,565c564,565
<    however, in many DNSBLs this is inadvisable because it requires
<    impractical amounts of effort and hence NOT RECOMMENDED in most
---
 >    However, in many DNSBLs this is inadvisable because it requires
 >    impractical amounts of effort and hence is NOT RECOMMENDED in most
573,574c573,574
<    listed IP address removed immediately, it does not prevent the DNSBL
<    operator from re-listing the IP address at a later time.
---
 >    listed IP/domain address removed immediately, it does not prevent 
the DNSBL
 >    operator from re-listing the IP/domain address at a later time.
592c592
<    DNSBL operators and organizations whose IP addresses have been
---
 >    DNSBL operators and organizations whose IP/domain addresses have been
599c599
<    relationship to the factors which were the cause of the addition to
---
 >    relationship to the factors that were the cause of the addition to
666c666
<    Most IP-based DNSBLs follow a convention of entries for IPs in
---
 >    Most IP-based DNSBLs follow a convention of query entries for IPs in
678,679c678,679
<    that the IP is listed.  This appears to be a defacto standard.  See
<    [DNSBL-EMAIL]
---
 >    that the IP/domain is listed.  This appears to be a defacto 
standard.  See
 >    [DNSBL-EMAIL].
698c698
<    because it is generally prohibited in hostnames, and are highly
---
 >    because they are generally prohibited in hostnames, and are highly
732c732
<    servers for the DNSBL.  Popular DNSBLs are in use by tens of
---
 >    servers for the DNSBL.  Popular DNSBLs are used by tens of
760c760
<        inflicting a DDOS.
---
 >        inflicting a DDOS attack.
762c762
<    5.  The base domain name SHOULD be registered indefinately, so as to
---
 >    5.  The base domain name SHOULD be registered indefinitely, so as to
768c768
<    servers for the DNSBL to point at "TEST-NET" addresses (see RFC3330
---
 >    servers for the DNSBL to point at "TEST-NET" addresses (see
802,803c802,803
<    Assumes DNSBL is named "dnsbl.example.com".  Replace "example.com"
<    and "dnsbl.example.com" as appropriate for the DNSBL
---
 >    This example assumes that the DNSBL is named "dnsbl.example.com". 
  Replace "example.com"
 >    and "dnsbl.example.com" as appropriate for the DNSBL.
810c810
<    The DNSBL MAY list loopback, RFC 1918 [RFC1918], LINK-LOCAL class
---
 >    The DNSBL MAY list loopback, [RFC1918], LINK-LOCAL class
814c814
<    As additional insurance against listings of space that should not be
---
 >    As additional insurance against listings of space that should not 
be listed,
831c831
<    This practise (scanning for vulnerabilities) can represent a risk in
---
 >    The practise of scanning for vulnerabilities can represent a risk in
867c867
<    targetting conditions are no longer met.
---
 >    targetting conditions no longer being met.
886c886
<    systems improperly for DNSBL queries.  The consequences of error can
---
 >    systems improperly for DNSBL queries.  The consequences of an 
error can
906c906
<        or 4.3.2.1.dnsbl.exmple.cm instead of 4.3.2.1.dnsbl.example.com)
---
 >        or 4.3.2.1.dnsbl.exmple.cm instead of 4.3.2.1.dnsbl.example.com).
910c910
<        continuing to query public nameservers
---
 >        continuing to query the public nameservers.
917c917
<        thus heavily increasing load on public nameservers
---
 >        thus heavily increasing load on the public nameservers.
922c922
<    6.  Using the DNSBL incorrectly. e.g.  Some DNSBLs are suitable only
---
 >    6.  Using the DNSBL incorrectly. E.g.  some DNSBLs are suitable only
926,927c926,927
<    While in many cases, it can be difficult detect such situations, to
<    protect against such misconfiguration, it is RECOMMENDED that DNSBL
---
 >    While in many cases it can be difficult to detect such situations, to
 >    protect against such misconfiguration it is RECOMMENDED that DNSBL
964c964
<    outlined in RFC 3833 [RFC3833]
---
 >    outlined in [RFC3833].


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