[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-avt-rtp-evrc-nw-08

"Peter Yee" <peter@akayla.com> Wed, 12 December 2012 05:46 UTC

From: Peter Yee <peter@akayla.com>
To: draft-ietf-avt-rtp-evrc-nw.all@tools.ietf.org
Date: Tue, 11 Dec 2012 21:45:23 -0800
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Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-avt-rtp-evrc-nw-08
Precedence: list

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <
http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you
may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-avt-rtp-evrc-nw-08
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: Dec-11-2012
IETF LC End Date: Dec-11-2012
IESG Telechat date: Unknown

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has a few nits
that should be fixed before publication. [Ready with nits.]

This Standards Track draft specifies RTP payload formats for use with the
EVRC-NW.  It contains IANA registration requests.

Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:

Section 1, 2nd sentence: decide whether you want to capitalize the packet
format names (Header-Free, Interleaved/Bundled) and then them use
consistently throughout the document.  RFC 3558 uses upper case names
mostly, but is not quite a paragon of consistency.

Section 4, 3rd sentence: change "zero bit" to "zero-bit".

Section 4, table, 1st row: insert a space after "Blank"  and adjust spacing
to maintain alignment of the columns.  Change "0 bit" to "0 bits".

Section 5, 2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence: change "8kHz" to "8 kHz".  Change
"16kHz" to "16 kHz".

Section 6, 3rd numbered item, 2nd sentence: change "identfication" to
"identification".

Section 7, 1st sentence: change ";" to ",".

Section 9.1.2: change "Interoperability considertaions" to "Interoperability
considerations".

Section 9.1.3, mode-set-recv paragraph, 5th sentence: change "narroband" to
"narrowband".

Section 9.1.3: change " Interoperability considertaions" to "
Interoperability considerations".

Section 10, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete the comma after
"preference".

Section 10, numbered list: I'm not sure why this is a numbered list since
the preceding paragraph makes no direct link to it.  Consider demoting the
list items to individual paragraphs.

Section 10, 1st numbered item, 1st sentence: consider rewriting "inform the
capability of " as "advertise the capability for" or "inform the capability
for". 

Section 10, 2nd numbered item, 1st sentence: rewrite "inform the" as
"indicate a".

Section 11, 2nd paragraph, 4th sentence: change "potentially-high" to
"potentially high"

Section 11, 2nd paragraph, last sentence: change "is used" to "be used".

Section 14, 2nd bullet item, 2nd sentence: capitalize "may" and "should".

Section 14, 3rd bullet item: change "receive only" to "receive-only".

I like using the serial comma (the one before "and" in a list of 3 of more
items) for clarity and to reduce confusion, but did not submit the list of
missing commas for this document -- there are a few.  Let me know if you
care.

[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-avt-rtp-ev… Peter Yee