[Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-cl-requirement-10.txt

Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr> Thu, 27 June 2013 16:15 UTC

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From: Francis Dupont <Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr>
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Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-rtgwg-cl-requirement-10.txt
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I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at

<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-rtgwg-cl-requirement-10.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20130617
IETF LC End Date: 20130619
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:
 - ToC page 3 and 7 page 12: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

 - 2 page 4: double include words in:

   The services supported include pseudowire based services (RFC 3985
   [RFC3985]), including VPN services,

 I suggest something like:

   The supported services are, but not limited to, pseudowire based
   services (RFC 3985 [RFC3985]), including VPN services,

 - 3 page 5 (component link): the term NPO is used before being defined

 - 3 page 5 (component link): expand the WDM abbrev -- not well known
  according tothe RFC Editor list:
  http://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc-style-guide/abbrev.expansion.txt

 - 3 page 5 (flow identification): same for the PW abbrev

 - 4.1 page 6: CAN -> MAY

 - 6 page 12 (MR#10) -> interpretted -> interpreted

 - 9 page 13: Encrption -> Encryption

 - Authors' Addresses: add the country (USA) in postal addresses

Regards

Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr