Re: Last Call: 'RFC 3978 Update to recognize the IETF Trust' to BCP (draft-ietf-ipr-ietf-trust-update)

[Simon Josefsson <jas at extundo.com>]

Hi.

To make sure my earlier comments are recorded as last call comments,
here are they, together with one new comment:

1) Section 1.1: The paragraph:

   This document updates RFC 3978 in order to recognize the IETF Trust
   and to implement the structure needed to support it.  Most
   importantly, it alters the license-grant path as follows:  whereas
   previously authors of Contributions to the IETF would grant a license
   both to ISOC and to all IETF participants, such authors will grant a
               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
   license to the IETF Trust (in Section 3.3).  This document concerns
   itself only with changes to RFC 3978 needed to recognize the creation
   of the IETF Trust.

This seems to suggest that this document alters the license-grant path
as described.  The document doesn't do that.  Rights are granted to
both IETF participants and to the IETF Trust.  While this is not
normative text, it appears as if this gives the wrong impression of
what the goal of the document is.

I suggest changing this into:

   This document updates RFC 3978 in order to recognize the IETF Trust
   and to implement the structure needed to support it.  Most
   importantly, it alters the license-grant path as follows: whereas
   previously authors of Contributions to the IETF would grant a
   license to ISOC, such authors will grant a license to the IETF
   Trust (in Section 3.3).  This document concerns itself only with
   changes to RFC 3978 needed to recognize the creation of the IETF
   Trust.

2) Section 2.1: "Section 1" should be "Section 2" (typo).

3) Section 2.1: One reference to "IETF" is dropped.  This isn't in the
actual license, so it is less important from a legal perspective.
Similar to section 1.1, it is still incorrect, and may give
lay-readers an incorrect view of what the document does.  I suggest
changing the first occurrence of "IETF Trust" in the paragraph to
"IETF and the IETF Trust".

Thanks,
Simon

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