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Re: [KEYPROV] WGLC: draft-ietf-keyprov-pskc-03.txt
Here are my comments. I'd say these were all nits and that the document
is ready to proceed. I hope to not duplicate Andrea's comments.
Abstract: r/The standard/A standard
Intro: r/of a IANA/of an IANA
Sec 1.3: r/semantics../semantics.
Sec 3: r/upmost/at most?
Sec 4.1, 'Algorithm': r/[PSKC-ALGORITHM-PROFILES]/[PSKC-ALGORITHM-PROFILES].
Sec 4: r/This attribute is mandatory./This attribute MUST be included.
Sec 4/4.1: (I waffled on whether or not to include this as a comment)
Should the values used in Figure 2 be referenced in 4/4.1? e.g., 'Id:'
The 'Id' attribute carries a unique identifier for the container. For
this example, the value is "exampleID1". It ties the examples to the
text, and might help some readers.
Sec 4.1, <Time>: r/dependent)/dependent).
Sec 4.1, Encrypted: r/value/value.
Sec 4.2.2: r/ token)/ token).
Sec 4.2.2: r/has a single mandatory child element/has a single child
element that MUST be included:
Sec 4.2.3: r/,DC=net/,DC=net.
Sec 4.2.3: r/Although the syntax of the user identifier is defined there
/Although the syntax of the user identifier is defined, there
Sec 4.2.4 (x2): r/'CheckDigit': This optional attribute
indicates/'CheckDigit': This attribute indicates
Sec 4.2.4: Mandatory isn't an RFC 2119 keyword. I think we need to
change where ever 'mandatory' is to work in a MUST.
r/'Encoding': This mandatory attribute defines/'Encoding': This
attribute, which MUST be included in <ChallengeFormat>, defines
r/'Min': This mandatory attribute defines/'Min': This attribute, which
MUST be included in <ChallengeFormat>, defines
r/'Max': This mandatory attribute defines/'Max': This attribute, which
MUST be included in <ChallengeFormat>, defines
r/'Encoding': This mandatory attribute defines/'Encoding': This
attribute, which MUST be included in <ResponseFormat>, defines
r/'Min': This mandatory attribute defines/'Min': This attribute, which
MUST be included in <ResponseFormat>, defines
r/'Max': This mandatory attribute defines/'Max': This attribute, which
MUST be included in <ResponseFormat>, defines
Sec 4.3 (2nd para): r/sending and receiving party/sending and receiving
parties
Fig 3/5: Should <UserId> be in Fig 3. It's not in Fig 5?
Sec 6.1: r/Since AES128-CBC does not provide integrity checks a keyed
MAC/As AES128-CBC does not provide integrity checks, a keyed MAC
Sec 6.1: r/is use as the algorithm/is used as the algorithm
Fig 6: r/ Figure 6: AES-128-CBC Encrypted Pre-Shared Secret Key/Figure
6: AES-128-CBC Encrypted Pre-Shared Secret Key with SHA1 as HMAC
Sec 6.1: Is there a reason:
HMAC-SHA224 | http://www.w3.org/2001/04/xmldsig-more#hmac-sha224
wasn't included?
Sec 6.3 (last para): r/asymmetric key encryption algorithm/asymmetric
key encryption algorithm.
Sec 9 (Algorithm URIs): r/The usage of new/The use of new
Sec 9 (Policy): r/the usage of the key/the use of the key
spt
Hannes Tschofenig wrote:
Hi all,
This is the 2nd Working Group Last Call for comments on "Portable Symmetric
Key Container (PSKC)":
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-keyprov-pskc-03.txt
Please have comments to the list by Sunday, 27 June.
As always, please remember to send a note in if you've read the document and
have no other comments other than "its ready to go" - we need those as much
as we need "I found a problem".
Ciao
Hannes & Phillip
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