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[Ltru] Re: editorial nits in initial registry draft -01



Randy Presuhn <randy underscore presuhn at mindspring dot com> wrote:

> Need to ensure that the "RFC 3066bis" in the Abstract gets replaced
> with the actual RFC number during the RFC editing process.

Just let me know how to do that.  I tried making this a reference to
[I-D.ietf-ltru-registry], but one tool or another didn't like that in
the Abstract.

> "This memo does not define the permanent contents of the registry."
> isn't quite what we need to say.  If there's no objection, I suggest
> something like "Since the contents of this memo only serve as a
> starting point for the registry, it is inappropriate to use this memo
> in lieue of the registry."

(s/lieue/lieu/)

I'm not sure I see the practical difference, but I made the change.  Do
I need to change the last sentence of the third paragraph of the
Introduction as well?

> The last sentence of section 1 ("The process for determining the
> contents of this registry is defined  in Section 3.7 of
> [I-D.ietf-ltru-registry].") isn't needed, since that material
> immediately follows.

Right, that was a holdover from the days before the current Section 2
was created.

> (I bet the RFC editor gets rid of the inter-section page breaks.  :-)

I had to delete <?rfc compact="yes" ?> so the text in the nested lists
in Section 2 wouldn't come out all jammed together.  This had the side
effect of introducing the page breaks between sections.  If anyone can
show me a better way to do this, I'd appreciate it.

> "the the" -> "the"

Done.

> "RFC 3066" needs a reference.  (informative)

Done, everywhere RFC 3066 is mentioned.  The one mention of RFC 1766 was
also turned into a reference.  There are now a LOT more references than
before.

I also removed the first hyphen in references like [ISO-639-1], changing
it to [ISO639-1], because that seems to be the convention.  I left
[UN-M.49] alone, since it was just too ugly otherwise.

> "This section defines the process used to create the initial registry
> entries." ->
> "This section describes the process that was used to create the
> initial registry entries."

Done.

> "The initial set of records is based on the following standards:" ->
> "The initial set of records was based on the following standards:"

Done, along with similar present/past tense corrections.

> "7.  Tags in the RFC 3066 registry that are not deprecated, consist
>       entirely of subtags already in this document, and have the
>       correct" ->
> "7.  Tags in the RFC 3066 registry that were not deprecated, consisted
>       entirely of subtags already in that document, and have the
>       correct"

No, it's *this* document, the initial registry.  The RFC 3066 registry
doesn't have subtags, only whole tags.

> Do we really need this paragraph  in this document?
>    Any additional registrations completed after the adoption of
>    [I-D.ietf-ltru-registry] using the rules in RFC 3066 will be
>    incorporated into the Language Subtag Registry using the rules
>    defined above, or will result in the submission of appropriate
>    records by the Language Subtag Reviewer according to the rules in
>    [I-D.ietf-ltru-registry].

Addison proposed that text on July 5 to replace "New registrations
completed under RFC 3066 were entered into the ILSR using the rules
defined above."  Personally I agree that no text related to ongoing
maintenance of the registry belongs in draft-initial.  I've commented
out the above text, not deleted it, in case a battle ensues about
retaining it.

> This paragraph also doesn't belong in this document.
>    All existing RFC 3066 language tag registrations will be maintained
>    in perpetuity.
> It's about registry maintenance, rather than initialization.

I agree, and have commented this out as well.  Actually, I think all of
item 11 from "Interested parties" to the end should be deleted, as it
also pertains to registry maintenance, but I'll wait to hear a humming
sound before I do anything about it.

I have not added any references or explanations regarding the use of
Unicode escape sequences.  Section 1 briefly mentions record-jar, but
then defers all other format-related details to [draft-registry].

200 has been expurgated from Section 4.

Draft-initial-02 is now available:
http://users.adelphia.net/~dewell/draft-ietf-ltru-initial-02.txt
http://users.adelphia.net/~dewell/draft-ietf-ltru-initial-02.html
http://users.adelphia.net/~dewell/draft-ietf-ltru-initial-02.xml

--
Doug Ewell
Fullerton, California
http://users.adelphia.net/~dewell/



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