CE Whitehead <cewcathar at hotmail dot com> wrote:
IANA will extract the record from the form and place the inserted or modified record into the appropriate section of the language subtag registry, grouping the records by their 'Type' field. Inserted records can be placed anywhere within the appropriate section; there is no guarantee that the registry's records are in any particular order other than their being grouped together by 'Type'. Modified records overwrite the record they replace.What about the following text (I dispensed with the gerund & used a simple passive verb)?:"IANA will extract the record from the form and place the inserted or modified record into the appropriate section of the language subtag registry, grouping the records by their 'Type' field. Inserted records can be placed anywhere within the appropriate section; there is no guarantee that the registry's records will be placed in any particular order except that they will always be grouped by 'Type.' Modified records overwrite the record they replace."
I like this change; "except that" flows better than "other than."
IANA will extract the record from the form and place the inserted or modified record into the appropriate section of the language subtag registry, grouping the records by their 'Type' field. Otherwise the records will not be arranged in any particular order: inserted records can be placed anywhere within the appropriate section (that is with other records of the same 'Type'). Modified records overwrite the record they replace."
This is too much of a rewording, and the parenthetical phrase slowed me down, negating the benefit of fewer words. Best to stick with the first rewording, if any.
-- Doug Ewell * Thornton, Colorado, USA * RFC 4645 * UTN #14 http://www.ewellic.org http://www1.ietf.org/html.charters/ltru-charter.html http://www.alvestrand.no/mailman/listinfo/ietf-languages ˆ
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