Subject: Re: [Mtgvenue] RtgDir Review: draft-ietf-mtgvenue-meeting-policy

From: Alissa Cooper <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 30 Apr 2018 09:27:20 -0400

Thanks. Added the WG on cc for any follow-up.

Alissa

> On Apr 24, 2018, at 6:09 AM, [email-masked] wrote:
> 
> Hello,
> 
> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
> of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
> information about the Routing Directorate, please see
> ​http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/rtg/trac/wiki/RtgDir
> 
> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
> would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
> Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
> discussion or by updating the draft.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-mtgvenue-meeting-policy-04
> Reviewer: Julien Meuric
> Review Date: April 24, 2018
> IETF LC End Date: April 19, 2018
> Intended Status: BCP
> 
> *Summary:*
> The I-D seems almost ready for publication. I have some minor concerns
> about this document that I think should be resolved before publication.
> 
> *Comments:*
> The choice of words sometimes feels to me a bit tough or too narrow.
> However, I am not a native-speaker and I am not always used to set phrases.
> Moreover, I suggest a few text tweaks, including probable nits that the
> RFC Editor would certainly spot anyway.
> 
> *Major Issues:*
> No major issues found.
> 
> *Minor Issues:*
> To me, a couple of words may benefit from alternate terms:
> - "location" sounds too specific for a continent, would not "region" or
> "territory" fit better?
> - "travel pain" (used twice) feel strong, "travel effort" would convey a
> similar idea in a smoother way.
> 
> In section 2, I am not sure that "a meeting in North America in March, a
> meeting in Europe in July, and a meeting in Asia on November" is so
> obviously a "typical cycle". I would thus drop that unnecessary text to
> start with "The 1-1-1 policy", and update the following phrase "such a
> cycle" into "a fixed cycle".
> 
> 
> *Nits:*
> - s/High level guidance for the meeting policy/High Level Guidance for
> the Meeting Policy/
> - s/The 1-1-1-* meeting policy/The 1-1-1-* Meeting Policy/
> - s/regions. i.e.,/regions, i.e./
> - s/roughy/roughly/
> - s/we plan/We plan/
> - s/there were/There were/
> - s/meetings. e.g./meetings. E.g./
> - s/There have not been a large number/ There has not been a large
> number/  [or "was not"? Defer to RFC Editor?]
> - s/IETF54(/IETF54 (/
> - s/Implementation of the policy/Implementation of the Policy/
> - s/to assist/For assisting/
> - s/to provide/For providing/
> - s/Re-evaluation and changes to this policy/Re-evaluation and Changes
> to this Policy/
> 
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Julien
> 
> 
> _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
> 
> Ce message et ses pieces jointes peuvent contenir des informations confidentielles ou privilegiees et ne doivent donc
> pas etre diffuses, exploites ou copies sans autorisation. Si vous avez recu ce message par erreur, veuillez le signaler
> a l'expediteur et le detruire ainsi que les pieces jointes. Les messages electroniques etant susceptibles d'alteration,
> Orange decline toute responsabilite si ce message a ete altere, deforme ou falsifie. Merci.
> 
> This message and its attachments may contain confidential or privileged information that may be protected by law;
> they should not be distributed, used or copied without authorisation.
> If you have received this email in error, please notify the sender and delete this message and its attachments.
> As emails may be altered, Orange is not liable for messages that have been modified, changed or falsified.
> Thank you.
>