[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-lisp-multicast-08

<kathleen.moriarty@emc.com> Tue, 04 October 2011 03:20 UTC

From: kathleen.moriarty@emc.com
To: gen-art@ietf.org, ietf@ietf.org, draft-ietf-lisp-multicast.all@tools.ieft.org
Date: Mon, 03 Oct 2011 23:23:41 -0400
Thread-Topic: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-lisp-multicast-08
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Cc: jzwiebel@cisco.com, dmm@cisco.com, dino@cisco.com, stig@cisco.com
Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-lisp-multicast-08
Precedence: list

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-lisp-multicast-08
Reviewer: Kathleen Moriarty
Review Date: 3 October 2011
IETF LC End Date: 28 September 2011
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary:  The document is ready with nits.  I am sorry about the late review!

Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:
The last paragraph of section 3 introduces the use of the term 'oif-list' within a definition for 'Unicast Encapsulated PIM Join/Prune Message'.  I think it would be helpful to define this term.

Section 4, consider breaking the first sentence of #6 into two sentences:
"When a packet is originated by the multicast host in the source
       site, it will flow to one or more ITRs which will prepend a LISP
       header by copying the group address to the outer destination
       address field and insert its own locator address in the outer
       source address field."

Section 5, 2nd paragraph: Recommend changing from:
"In a LISP site, packets
   are originated from hosts using their allocated EIDs, those addresses
   are used to identify the host as well as where in the site's topology
   the host resides but not how and where it is attached to the
   Internet."
To: "In a LISP site, packets originate from hosts using their allocated EIDs.  EID addresses
   are used to identify the host as well as where in the site's topology
   the host resides, but not how and where it is attached to the
   Internet."

Section 7, IGMP section, second sentence, add a comma:
To: "One being that they are link-
      local and not used over site boundaries and second, they advertise
      group addresses that don't need translation."

Section 7: PIM-SSN - consider breaking this into a couple of sentences to make it easier to read.
"In this case, there is a small
      modification to the operation of the PIM protocol (but not to any
      message format) to support taking a Join/Prune message originated
      inside of a LISP site with embedded addresses from the EID
      namespace and converting them to addresses from the RLOC namespace
      when the Join/Prune message crosses a site boundary."

Section 7: PIM-Bidir Section - consider breaking the following into a couple of sentences:
"When using
      Bidir-PIM for inter-domain multicast routing, it is recommended to
      use staticly configured RPs so core routers think the Bidir group
      is associated with an ITR's RLOC as the RP address and site
      routers think the Bidir group is associated with the site resident
      RP with an EID address."

Section 9.2: This section is the first place where 'you' is used.  The writing style changes, you may want to rewrite and make it consistent with the rest of the document.  There is a 'you' in 9.3 as well and 'we' is used in section 11.

Section 12: Should the 'must' in the first paragraph be in caps?
"Mtrace functionality must be consistent with unicast traceroute
   functionality where all hops from multicast receiver to multicast
   source are visible."

[Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-lisp-multi… kathleen.moriarty
Re: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-lisp-m… Dino Farinacci