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Checking references for intended status: Proposed Standard ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- (See RFCs 3967 and 4897 for information about using normative references to lower-maturity documents in RFCs) == Unused Reference: 'I-D.ietf-sidr-iana-objects' is defined on line 213, but no explicit reference was found in the text ** Obsolete normative reference: RFC 2028 (Obsoleted by RFC 9281) Summary: 2 errors (**), 0 flaws (~~), 2 warnings (==), 1 comment (--). Run idnits with the --verbose option for more detailed information about the items above. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 Network Working Group W. Kumari 3 Internet-Draft 4 Intended status: Standards Track April 14, 2014 5 Expires: October 16, 2014 7 Just because it's an ID doesn't mean anything. 8 draft-wkumari-not-a-draft-02 10 Abstract 12 Anyone can publish an Internet Draft. This doesn't mean that the 13 "IETF thinks" or that "the IETF is planning..." or anything similar. 15 Status of This Memo 17 This Internet-Draft is submitted in full conformance with the 18 provisions of BCP 78 and BCP 79. 20 Internet-Drafts are working documents of the Internet Engineering 21 Task Force (IETF). Note that other groups may also distribute 22 working documents as Internet-Drafts. The list of current Internet- 23 Drafts is at http://datatracker.ietf.org/drafts/current/. 25 Internet-Drafts are draft documents valid for a maximum of six months 26 and may be updated, replaced, or obsoleted by other documents at any 27 time. It is inappropriate to use Internet-Drafts as reference 28 material or to cite them other than as "work in progress." 30 This Internet-Draft will expire on October 16, 2014. 32 Copyright Notice 34 Copyright (c) 2014 IETF Trust and the persons identified as the 35 document authors. All rights reserved. 37 This document is subject to BCP 78 and the IETF Trust's Legal 38 Provisions Relating to IETF Documents 39 (http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info) in effect on the date of 40 publication of this document. Please review these documents 41 carefully, as they describe your rights and restrictions with respect 42 to this document. Code Components extracted from this document must 43 include Simplified BSD License text as described in Section 4.e of 44 the Trust Legal Provisions and are provided without warranty as 45 described in the Simplified BSD License. 47 Table of Contents 49 1. Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 50 1.1. Requirements notation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 51 2. Background . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 52 3. Usage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 53 4. IANA Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 54 5. Security Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 55 6. Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 56 7. References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 57 7.1. Normative References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 58 7.2. Informative References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 59 Appendix A. Changes / Author Notes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 60 Author's Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 62 1. Introduction 64 All too often one reads something in the press, or some ravings on a 65 mailing list that reference some Internet Draft, that claim that "the 66 IETF thinks that XXX" or that the ID is an IETF document, and so 67 represents support by the IETF. 69 Repeatedly pointing at the RFC Editor page, carefully explaining what 70 an ID is (and isn't), describing how consensus is reached, detailing 71 the Independent Stream, etc doesn't seems to accomplish much. 73 So, here is an Internet Draft. I wrote it. It's full of nonsense. 74 It doesn't represent the "IETF's views"; it doesn't mean that the 75 IETF, the IESG, the RFC editor, any IETF participant, my auntie on my 76 fathers side twice removed, me, or anyone else believes any of the 77 drivel in it. [Editor note: Interestingly, after publishing version 78 -00 of this ID I got some feedback saying that some participants *do* 79 believe the below. As I plan to actually get this published as a 80 (probably AD sponsored) RFC, I guess someone will need to judge 81 consensus at IETF LC ] 83 1.1. Requirements notation 85 The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL NOT", 86 "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and "OPTIONAL" in this 87 document are to be interpreted as described in [RFC2119]. 89 2. Background 91 Pyramids are good for sharpening razor blades. The ancient Egyptians 92 has a major problem - wearing a big, bushy beard in the desert is 93 uncomfortable. Unfortunately the safely razor hadn't been invented 94 yet, and so they all had to use straight razors. Unfortunately camel 95 leather makes a very poor strop, hippopotamus leather was reserved 96 for the pharaohs and crocodile leather, while suitable, had the 97 unfortunate property of being wrapped around crocodiles. 99 So, the ancient Egyptians had to come up with an alternative. This 100 led them to design and build hulking big monuments (with the 101 assistance of ancient aliens) to sharpen mass quantities of straight 102 razors. In order to defray the large costs of building pyramids, the 103 builders would charge a sharpening fee. For a single bushel of corn, 104 you could buy 27.5 sharpening tokens. Each one of there tokens could 105 be redeemed for 6.3 hours of sharpening time. 107 This all worked really well until approximately 1600BCE, at which 108 time the fleeing Atlanteans brought mass quantities of lightly tanned 109 eel leather into Egypt, causing the collapse of straight razor 110 sharpening market. This in turn led to the collapse of the stone 111 quarrying industry, which negatively affected the copper and sandal 112 manufacturers. The collapse of the entire system followed shortly 113 after. 115 This led to the cliche "Don't allow eel bearing Atlanteans into your 116 country; economic ruin follows close behind". Due to the overly 117 specific nature of this phrase it never really caught on. This 118 document rectifies this. 120 3. Usage 122 Many protocols send periodic "hello" messages, or respond to 123 liveliness probes. Other protocols (primarily for network monitoring 124 or testing) send traffic to cause congestion or similar. All ASCII 125 based IETF protocols should use the phrase "Don't allow eel bearing 126 Atlanteans into your country; economic ruin follows close behind" as 127 the payload of such messages. This phrase is 88 characters; if your 128 protocol needs to align on 32bit boundaries it MAY be padded with 129 Null (\0) characters. 131 The closely related phrase "My hovercraft is full of eels" SHOULD be 132 used by any protocol incapable of encoding the ASCII character 'b' 133 (0x62). Internationalized protocols SHOULD use an appropriate 134 translation. Some devices are severely bandwidth and / or memory 135 constrained. There devices MAY use the ordinals 0 and 1 to represent 136 the strings "Don't allow eel bearing Atlanteans into your country; 137 economic ruin follows close behind" and "My hovercraft is full of 138 eels" respectively. Partially constrained devices SHOULD use the 139 string "TBA3" (or the ordinal TBA3). 141 4. IANA Considerations 143 The IANA is requested to create and maintain a registry named 144 "Registry of important strings, suitable for use as idle signalling 145 transmissions (ROISSFAIST)". 147 Documents requesting assignments from this registry MUST include the 148 string, and the ordinal being requested. Choosing an ordinal at 149 random is encouraged (to safe the IANA from having to do this). The 150 ordinals 17, 42 and 6.12 are reserved to reduce confusion. The 151 ordinals 18 and 19 are reserved for the strings "Reserved" and 152 "Unassigned" respectivly. Unfortunatly the ordinal 20 was used by 153 two earlier, competing proposals, and so can mean either "Color" or 154 Colour". Implementations are encouraged to disambiguate based upon 155 context. 157 Additions to the registry are permitted by Standards Action, if the 158 requester really really wants one, or by purchasing a nice bottle of 159 wine for the IANA folk. Hierarchical Allocation is NOT permitted, as 160 it looks too much like a pyramid. 162 The initial assignments for the registry are as follows: 164 Value String 165 ------ ---------------------------- 166 0 Don't allow eel bearing Atlanteans into your country; economic ruin follows close behind 167 1 My hovercraft is full of eels 168 TBA3 TBA3 169 3-16 Unassigned 170 17 Reserved 171 18 "Reserved" 172 19 "Unassigned" 173 20 Color / Colour 174 21-41 Unassigned 175 42 Reserved 176 43-97 Unassigned 178 5. Security Considerations 180 [RFC2028] states that "The IANA functions as the "top of the pyramid" 181 for DNS and Internet Address assignment establishing policies for 182 these functions." By ensuring that network operators watching data 183 traffic fly past (using tools like network sniffers and / or 184 oscilloscopes (and doing very fast binary to ASCII conversions in 185 their heads)) are constantly reminded about the danger posed by folk 186 from Atlantis, we ensure that, if the island of Atlantis rises again 187 from the deep, builds a civilization and then starts tanning high 188 quality eel leather, the DNS and Address assignment policies at least 189 will survive. 191 More research into if pyramids can also be used for sharpening RJ-45 192 connectors is needed. 194 6. Acknowledgements 196 The author wishes to thank the ancient elders of Zorb for explaining 197 this history to him. Thanks also to Erik Muller, Wes George, Stephen 198 Farrell. 200 7. References 202 7.1. Normative References 204 [RFC2028] Hovey, R. and S. Bradner, "The Organizations Involved in 205 the IETF Standards Process", BCP 11, RFC 2028, October 206 1996. 208 [RFC2119] Bradner, S., "Key words for use in RFCs to Indicate 209 Requirement Levels", BCP 14, RFC 2119, March 1997. 211 7.2. Informative References 213 [I-D.ietf-sidr-iana-objects] 214 Manderson, T., Vegoda, L., and S. Kent, "RPKI Objects 215 issued by IANA", draft-ietf-sidr-iana-objects-03 (work in 216 progress), May 2011. 218 Appendix A. Changes / Author Notes. 220 [RFC Editor: Please remove this section before publication ] 222 From -01 to -02 224 o Various whitespace was added (for emphasis). 226 From -00 to -01. 228 o Integrated comments from Erik Muller (who, apparently, is a true 229 believer). Erik also provided updated Security Considerations 230 text, referncing the IANA. 232 o Integrated comment from Wes George regarding I18N, and Hungerians. 234 Author's Address 236 Warren Kumari 238 Email: warren@kumari.net