press release: new IETF WG: Drunk Driving on the Internet
Keith Moore <moore@cs.utk.edu> Tue, 08 May 2001 16:50 UTC
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Subject: press release: new IETF WG: Drunk Driving on the Internet
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From: Keith Moore <moore@cs.utk.edu>
Date: Tue, 08 May 2001 12:36:49 -0400
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April 31, 2001 - The Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF) today announced formation of a new working group, tasked with the purpose of standardizing drunk driving on the information superhighway. The group, which is yet to be named, was formed in response to pressure from leaders in the networking hardware, networking software, and alcoholic beverage industries. The group will be a part of the newly created Misapplications Area. "Drunk driving is already in such widespread deployment as to be a de facto standard", said one industry leader. "We're pleased that IETF has stopped ignoring reality and is now willing to formally codify the practice." "We are only beginning recognize the tremendous importance of drunk driving to the Internet economy" said the new Misapplications AD. "Unfortunately, drunk driving imposes additional constraints on both the information highway itself and on other drivers on that highway. For instance, unimpaired drivers are expected to stay within the boundaries of the roadway, on the sides of the road appropriate to their direction, and to stop at intersections before entering them to look for crossing traffic. Up until new we have cited drivers for layering violations when they failed to follow these rules. However, experience suggests that these are not reasonable constraints for drunk drivers. We therefore intend to develop new standards to better facilitate drunk driving." The exact form of these standards is yet to be determined, but among the ideas that have been proposed are allowing drivers to utilize both sides of the road at once (since it is widely acknowledge that all traffic is intended to flow in one direction anyway), installing large padded bumpers around all vehicles, and requiring all non-drunk drivers to install large flashing strobe lights and systems which warn of the proximity of a drunk driver to their vehicles. In response to charges that an increase in drunk driving would impair the safe and reliable operation of other uses of the information highway, an industry leader responded, "We have already demonstrated interoperability of drunk driving on a small scale, between many different vendors. We believe that any other vehicles are of no consequence, as all of our customers are already seriously impairied anyway. Otherwise, they wouldn't be buying our products." IETF also promised to establish liasons with other standards organizations which have groups tasked with standardizing driving while blind, under the influence of hallucinogens, and with railroad spikes through the driver's head. -30-
- press release: new IETF WG: Drunk Driving on the … Keith Moore
- Re: press release: new IETF WG: Drunk Driving on … Robert G. Ferrell